Artist Statement

I am 26 years old, born on 4 May. 2000. I live in Malaysia. As the eldest of two siblings, I grew up with autism and epilepsy.

At the age of three, a severe dengue infection triggered a seizure. Throughout my childhood, recurring flu and fevers delayed my speech, cognitive learning, and social interaction with others. Words were often hard to find, but colors were always clear. Painting became my way of expressing my feelings and thoughts.

Fire and Ice

During my childhood illnesses, there was a strange, terrifying discomfort in my body: my head would burn hot with fever, while my fingers and toes would turn freezing cold. I translate this feeling directly onto the canvas. The explosive clash of fiery orange and icy blue is a visceral representation of the illness I experienced. The dark blue strokes also reflect fear during epileptic episodes that I endured.

Weeping

When I experienced a seizure, tears would drip down my face without my control. I am not sad, but my body cried for me. Those tears showed as thick, heavy drips of paint. Colors poured downward, representing the release of emotion and my body’s physical exhaustion.

In the box

When a seizure occurred, I felt trapped in my own body, helpless and terrified. The frame or box represents my uncontrolled physical body, and the vibrant object inside represents my struggling mind. I desperately desire to understand what was happening while lying motionless after an epileptic seizure.

I hope my art shows that even in fear and suffering, we should not give up; profound beauty can be found.

Art